DEPOSITS | WITHDRAWLS |
Seek first to understand | Seek first to be understood |
Keeping promises | Breaking promises |
Kindness, courtesies | Unkindness, discourtesies |
Clarifying expectations | Violating expectations |
Loyalty to the absent | Disloyalty, duplicity |
Apologies | Pride, conceit, arrogance |
Open to feedback | Rejecting feedback |
For Individuals in Poverty (Ruby Payne)
DEPOSITS | WITHDRAWLS |
Appreciation for humor and entertainment | Put-downs or sarcasm about humor or the child |
Acceptance of what child can say about a person or situation | Insistence and demands for full explanation |
Respect for demands and priorities of relationships | Insistence on middle-class views of relationships |
Using the adult voice | Using the parent voice |
Assisting with goal-setting | Telling the child his/her goals |
Identifying options related to resources | Making judgments on the value and availability of resources |
Understanding the importance of individual personality | Assigning pejorative character traits to the child |
